So, how can you get off the Not-So-Merry-Go-Round of Conflict? In my last post I explored how conflict begins – when our sense of identity, values and needs are challenged and we get triggered.
Confronted by the disturbance we feel when our body is flooded with cortisol and other stress hormones, it’s human nature to want to make sense of what’s happening. Humans need to explain what led to these impacts.
With our primitive emotional brain screaming out that we are in danger we quickly develop a view of the situation that paints ourselves as the innocent victim, while the apparent source of our distress emerges as the classic evil villian.
Anyone recognise what I’m talking about? Think about the last time you discussed a hot conflict. If it was a film script how would you cast yourself? How would you cast the other person? Who comes out looking better? Chances are your narrative is flavored with a little self-serving bias.